House Of Whipcord
1974

Well, this one's a bit of a surprise. You' d think by the video packaging (and the name of the film) that you were in for some kind of kinky sub-Confessions movie featuring a bunch of nutters who get their kicks from dishing out spankings to naked young girls. What you actually see is about a million miles away from this.
House of Whipcord is auteur Pete Walker's most famous film - and it's not hard to see why. Far from a low budget tit-and-bum fest, it's an intelligent, thoughtful movie, with just a few flashes of nudity, hardly any blood, and a distinct lack of floggings (there are just two - one takes place behind a door, and the other off camera).
It's also a film which is hard to be funny about (what do you mean, that hasn't stopped me so far? Cheeky bastards).
Of course, it has its minus points - most of the time the picture's so dark you can't see what the bloody hell's going on - and some of the acting leaves something to be desired. When Ray "Mr Benn" Brookes is searching for his missing girlfriend, the people he asks for help look like they've been dragged off the street to act in the film. But other than that it's a little gem - with more than a few things to say about capital punishment and society in general.
The only problem you may have is actually buying the thing - like I said, the packaging makes it look like a porno movie, and you can bet that's what the sniggering salesperson will think when you stump up your £5.99. But it's well worth the embarassment.
A truck driver (Mr Kind!) is stopped on a lonely, storm-swept road by a young, hardly-dressed girl (Penny Irving) who's in a bad way. After tutting about the state of the country etc, he tells her he's going to take her to safety. Cue flashback.
The girl is Anne-Marie, a pretty French model who spends her time wandering naked around the flat she shares with the equally undressed Anne Michelle (sister of Vicky, of Allo Allo fame). Anne-Marie has recently got 'em out for the press, too, but gets upset when a picture of her ladybumps appears on the wall at a party she's attending.
Luckily, a handsome(?) stranger called, oddly enough, Mark E Desade (get it?) is on hand to whisk her away from all this - and despite sussing out that he's a bit of an oddball, the lovely Anne-Marie agrees to go with him to meet his parents. Oh dear.
On arrival she's stripped and shoved in a cell - then told that she's got three chances - the first mistake she makes results in solitary confinement, the next gets her a flogging - and the third will be the last mistake she ever makes.
Of course, our feisty young heroine won't stand for this and immediately starts making plans to escape...
Walker stages this parable with skill and panache - and even Anne Michelle isn't too bad. But top marks go to Walker's mainstay Sheila Keith, who plays a psycho warder with relish. Add a scenery-chomping turn from the chief nutjob Barbara Markham as Mrs Wakehurst, and a bit of pathos from the pathetic blind judge (Patrick Barr) tricked into signing "death warrants" for the girls, and you've got a bit of a classic, I reckon.

Sounds:

Sheila Keith: Under the shower! Wash yourself properly... 39k
Mrs Wakehurst reads Anne Marie the charges 106k
The judge explains that This, young woman, is a real prison... 60k
Sheila Keith: I'm going to make you ashamed of your body... 43k
Mrs Wakehurst: If thine eye offends thee... 30k
One of the girls finds out what happens when it's third time unlucky 49k
The door closes on Anne-Marie's whipping 22k

House of Whipcord (1974)
Director: Pete Walker Writer(s): David McGillivray, Pete Walker (story)
Cast: Barbara Markham - Mrs. Wakehurst, Patrick Barr - Justice Bailey, Ray Brooks - Tony, Ann Michelle - Julia, Sheila Keith - Walker, Dorothy Gordon - Bates, Robert Tayman - Mark E. Desade, Ivor Salter - Jack, Karen David - Karen, Celia Quicke - Denise, Ron Smerczak - Ted, Tony Sympson - Henry, Judy Robinson - Claire, Jane Hayward - Estelle, Celia Imrie - Barbara, Barry Martin - Al, Rose Hill - Henry's Wife, Dave Butler, Penny Irving - Ann-Marie Di Verney, David McGillivray - Caven, Denis Tinsley - Police Sergeant, Pete Walker - Cyclist