Fed up with that boring old grey desktop? Why not slap one of these works of art on it instead? Lovingly created by my own fair hand and featuring some of the best films on the site, plus a handy reminder of where you got 'em from.
Just click on the screen size of your choice, wait for the big picture to appear, and right-click on that one. Hey-presto, fancy pants computer screen bollocks that in no way will get you beaten up by less understanding people at work.
By popular demand, it's that fat bird from Taste
The Blood Of Dracula - but luckily slimmed down, busting out of her
dress and toting an enormous shooter. Yes, Linda Hayden in all her nutty
glory during the final scenes of Expose.
For my money (and this is purely a matter of taste, you understand) Vanessa
Howard in Mumsy, Nanny Sonny and Girly is a
far more appealing prospect. She may be equally psychotic, but she's wearing
a school uniform. And if fancying grown women dressed as schoolgirls makes
me a pervert... oh.
He speaks through a hole in his neck! He has no face to speak of! He's
a complete nutcase! Relive the days when baddies wore big white frocks
and death came via the most stupid route possible, with this picture of
Mr Price and his enormous horn.
A nice tasteful study of the Alien in repose. Never mind what they called
it in the later films, or how they "improved" on it with fancy-pants
CGI, we like the man in the wetsuit with the pointy prong things, that
was only ever known as "The Alien".
Here's a picture of the greatest actor ever to grace The
Creeping Flesh. He only gave one bad performance, and that was in
those bloody awful Dalek films. And that's just me being prejudiced. Peter
Cushing in Curse Of Frankenstein. What
a film, what a bloke, what a wallpaper.
It's that bloke again, this time as the devil himself... Paul Daniels.
I mean Doctor Terror (a film criminally neglected by this site at the
time of writing - can I get hold of a copy? Can I bloody hell). If you
want this as your wallpaper, say "Yes, Paul!" and click on the
links below. I can't actually take credit for the idea of doing this one,
some bloke e-mailed me and asked if I'd do it. But don't start thinking
you can all do that, or there'll be trouble.
I'm indulging in my passion for a certain busty beauty here, but you
have to admit, it's a cracking picture. Why not brighten up your day by
having Valerie Leon spread all over your desktop? I'm off for a cold shower
to try and remove such thoughts from my fevered brain, but you can click
on one of these two links to download the picture size of your choice: