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Abominable Dr Phibes - Dracula Prince Of Darkness | Earth Dies Screaming - The Mutations

The Night Digger - Xtro

The Abominable Doctor Phibes
Mad musician rises from dead to exact bloody revenge
 
Alien
Man in wetsuit roams rusty spaceship, hoiking luckless American actors out of frame, whilst John Hurt gets the worst case of gutrot ever.
 
Aliens
Lots of men in wetsuits roam old power station and attempt to hoik American actors out of frame, but this time come up against a variety of guns, bombs, man-birds and fork-lift trucks
 
The Amazing Mr Blunden
Some kids are in trouble - 100 years ago. Send for the Railway Children!
 
An American Werewolf In London
You really scared us, you shit head
 
~~And Now The Screaming Starts
Eye eye, that's handy
 
The Asphyx
Idiot manages to bump off practically entire family in his quest for ultimate life and quality photos
 
Asylum 1972
Confused doc tries to pick out real nutter from a number of very likely candidates
 
The Asylum 2000
The loo-natics... have taken over the Asy-lum... This town, ooh-ohh, is comin' like a ghost town, ooh-ohh... Yup, even listening to crappy old 80s songs would be a better use of your time than watching Mower, Pitt and Askwith embarass themselves
 
The Awakening
Charlton Heston fails to keep vest on in dreadful, boring, tedious non-mummy extravaganza
 
Baffled!
Highly illogical nonsense as a certain pointy-eared ugly mug attempts to get into English Rose's M&S undies
 
Barry Mackenzie Holds His Own
Lord of the undead kidnaps Aunt Edna - Barry to the rescue!
 
The Beast Must Die

Big game hunter takes on furry foe and assorted red herrings

 
The Beast In The Cellar
Old dears keep brother locked in cellar - unsuccessfully
 
Behemoth The Sea Monster
Radioactive lizard attacks London. Again.
 
Beyond Bedlam
Keith Allen likes to shout. Craig Fairbrass works out. Liz Hurley gets 'em out. The end result? Absolutely nowt (worth watching).
 
Bizarre (Secrets Of Sex)
Bandaged misery-guts gives view of relationships through the ages, mostly involving either big boobs or nasty death (sometimes both)
 
The Black Torment
Mad twin used in nefarious plan to cheat heir out of fortune
Bloodbath At The House Of Death
Beardy berk blows budget badly by ballsing up bloody bid for big-screen brilliance. Or, to put it another way - Kenny Everett's poor attempt at a comedy horror.
Blood From The Mummy's Tomb
Busty Princess returns from the dead in body of equally busty modern bird
Blood On Satan's Claw
Twisted furry tale as teens grow hair in all the wrong places
Blue Blood
Guess what? The butler did it! (Had to happen sooner or later...)
The Bride
Hammer gets an 80s makeover in this pop-video retelling of a certain classic tale. Sounds interesting? Beware - it has Sting (yes, the pop star) and diddy David Rappaport (yes, the man from the Tizer ad) in it.
Brides Of Dracula
Dracula's out for the Count (geddit?) - but others live on in his place
Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter
Gallumphing hero gallumphs across the British countryside - picking up tarts, offing vampires and burying toads with equal precision.
The Cassandra Crossing
Richard Harris is on a train. Many people are in pain. Some careers are on the wain. Let's kill 'em off! What's not to gain?
The Cat And The Canary
There's a fortune to be had if brave blonde can surviv the attentions of her family, an escaped nutter and assorted peril
Cat Girl
Feisty young tart not feline fine
Children Of The Damned
Too-clever-by-half brats get what's coming to them after doing us all a favour and killing off a load of politicians.
 
Circus Of Horrors
Busty beauties abound after plastic surgeon sets up sexy circus
 
City Of The Dead
Welcome to the (horror) hotel Whitewood... you can check out, but you'll never leave
 
A Clockwork Orange
Bonkers teen rampage cut short by eye opening psychiatric techniques
Colin
Zombie chap is on the street. Still-living chaps feel the heat. Does he want to meet and greet? Nah, he just wants their guts to eat.
The Comeback
Crooner's comeback special ruined by brutal dismembering of annoying wife and cross-dressing psycho shenanigans.
The Company Of Wolves
Poncy art-house shenanigans mixed with 80s sensibilities and dodgy old boiler's take on fairy tales equals unintelligible mess
The Corpse
Daddy returns from the dead. Or something. Chris scratches head and tries to work out what just happened...
Corridors Of Blood
Not-so brilliant surgeon tests dodgy home made anaesthetic on himself. At home. Alone.
Corruption
Plastic surgeon slices, dices, hacks and mutilates a variety of 60s dollybirds in his attempt to help the missus keep face in front of the neighbours
Countess Dracula
Dodgy old boiler comes up with alternative to Botox. Also, is not related to Dracula. At all.
Cover Girl Killer
Killer dons wig and glasses and sets out to recreate covers of his favourite jazz mag
Craze
Camp antiques dealer strangles, stabs, burns and jumps-out-of-cupboards-at women of all varieties (not just dollybirds)
The Creeping Flesh
Baldy scientist inadvertantly awakens huge evil monster by spilling water on it
Crescendo
Stef Powers loses her composure but finds a composer
Crucible Of Terror
Bonkers artist runs amok with molten metal
Cry Of The Banshee
With all that witch ignition, someone forgot to keep an eye out for werewolves
Curse Of Frankenstein
It comes to something when you can create life with your bare hands but can't shoot a shambling monster from less than six feet away...
The Curse Of The Crimson Altar
Green Goddess gives up early morning TV workouts and takes to appearing in drug fuelled visions
Curse Of The Mummy's Tomb
Be-bandaged Egyptian prince goes on rampage
Curse Of The Werewolf
The unluckiest woman alive gets a Christmas present - a homicidal wolf-boy son. Cheers
Darklands
Sweary Welsh version of a certain classic film involving a man... made of wicker
Day Of The Triffids
Howard Kiel find out that the corn being "as high as an elephant's eye" could be a problem if it chooses to take a nibble on your niblets.
Dead Man's Shoes
"Six million terrorists in the world and I have to kill one with feet smaller than my sister's..." Hang on, wrong film. Killer at large in the Peak District (as usual)
Dead Of Night
Post-war party ruined by morbid dream fanatic with bad hair and tweed jacket
The Deadly Bees
Death, where is thy sting? Oh, shit.
Death Is A Number
Dashed queer story about a chap whose best mucker is cursed by the number nine
Death Line
Cannibals lurk in the shadows whilst police search for decent cuppa
Demons Of The Mind
The family Zorn - a happy tale of suicide, child abuse, mental instability, cannibalism, incest, ritual killing, dodgy psychiatric techniques, village idiocy, and that bloke from Manfred Mann.
Deviation
Sex and drugs are on the card, if you can put up with all the lard (on show)
The Devil Rides Out
Young buck needs friends' help when he succumbs to the pleasures of the dark arts
The Devils
Horny priest ends up at the sharp end of radical church reformation. And naked nuns - wahey!
The Devil's Men
Saucy sacrificial shenanigans with Father Ted lookalike and a depressed-looking Peter Cushing
Devils Of Darkness
Dodgy count on the lookout for busty 60s starlets
Die Monster Die!
Gardener uses glowing meteorite to further his horticultural hi-jinks
Digby The Biggest Dog In The World
Dulux advert runs amok!
Disciple Of Death
Former Radio One DJ takes on the forces of good - in this case, Tim's sister out of Sorry!, the melted Nazi bloke off Raiders Of The Lost Ark, and Leela from Doctor Who...
Doctor Jekyll And Sister Hyde
Lank haired fop achieves every man's dream - his own pair of breasts to play with whenever he likes
Dr Phibes Rises Again
More nasty surprises for the innocent as bonkers bloke looks for the secret of eternal life
Don't Look Now
Couple aim to forget daughter's drowning by moving to Venice - a city full of water
Don't Open Till Christmas
Santa Claus is coming... to town, where he's going to get his nob chopped off
Dracula
Hammer carefully throw Stoker's book out the window after 10 minutes. Great.
Dracula AD1972
Teen wants Dracula's undead power, bad choice then to take a shower
Dracula Has Risen From The Grave
Baldy vicar inadvertantly awakens the lord of the vampires by spilling blood on him
Dracula - Prince Of Darkness
Chubby monk takes on the forces of darkness
Dream Demon
Geordie crooner and greasy Brummie terrorise Sloane with renditions of "Crocodile Shoes" and tales of working with Mike Leigh
Dust Devil
Demon stalks the desert, chopping off fingers and stuffing clocks into people willy-nilly
The Earth Dies Screaming
Robot aliens stalk the streets - what's left of mankind retires to the pub
Endless Night
Imagine an episode of Grand Designs where Kevin McCloud goes mental after nobbing Hayley Mills
 
Expose
Fun in the cornfields of Norfolk with Udo, Linda, Fiona and the "Flash Liquid" bloke
 
Eye Of The Devil
David Niven grapples with grape nuts
Fear In The Night
Already nervous young bride fit for nothing after a few hours in haunted prep school
The Fiend
Strange young man tries to show wanton women the path to righteousness by moving them closer to God.
Fiend Without A Face
Infected spinal columns go on the rampage in spooky 50s premonition of 80s CJD epidemic
Flesh And Blood Show
Lots of flesh but no blood in dimly lit whodunnit.
The Flesh And The Fiends
Burke the berk and Hare.. the hairy one decide that already-dead isn't paying the rent, snatch-wise
Fragment Of Fear
Junkie treads on a few toes as he attempts to unravel the mystery of Aunt Lucy's death
Frankenstein And The Monster From Hell
Baron attempts to create lucid being by stitching together assorted mentalists
Frankenstein Created Woman
Frankenstein doesn't create any women at all, but does succeed in boring us all shitless, in dull but worthy exercise in how not to make a horror film.
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed
Nobody wins and everyone dies when Baron Victor carries on his head-swapping activities
Fright
Busty teen babysits in house targetted by nutter
Frightmare
Daughter of cannibal takes on family tradition
From Beyond The Grave
This shop has some fatal flaws - lethal if your name is Dors, nasty if you fake your wars, scary if your shoulder sore's, painful if you chop up whores, not so bad if you buy their doors
The Frozen Dead
Nazis on ice! And not the latest comeback from Torvill and Dean, either
The Ghosts Of Berkeley Square
Buffoons consigned to purgatory for dodgy attitude to foreign people
The Ghost Train
'Big Hearted' twat gets on everyone's nerves during spooky nazi plot
The Ghoul 1933
Karloff rises from the dead through the power of bushy eyebrows
The Ghoul 1975
Tango man despatches annoying hooray Henrys
The Godsend
Toddler in fright wig lays waste to mainly ginger family
Goodbye Gemini
Nutty twins take apart swinging London
Gorgo
Rubbery monster with bad case of post natal depression lays waste to Tower Bridge, Big Ben and a bunch of teddy boys. Luckily, the River Patrol are on hand to do precisely nothing.
 
The Gorgon
Snakes alive! Foxy type turns into a ten-pinter, and there's no alcohol to numb the pain
 
Gothic
Byron, Shelley and co muck about a bit
 
Grip Of The Strangler
Isn't it always the way? You spend your entire life investigating a serial killer, only to find out that you're him! Typical...
Hands Of The Ripper
Isn't it always the way? You spend your entire life trying to psychoanalyse nutters, only to find out you've accidentally invited Jack The Ripper to stay in your home! Typical...
Hardware
You naughty rubbish! Potential ashtray goes on the rampage. Many people die messily
Haunted
Confused-looking American gets more puzzled as all is not as it seems at local nuthouse, but is cheered up slightly by saucy posh totty.
Haunted House Of Horror
Groovy kids (who frankly deserve it) get messily murdered in humdrum whodunnit
The Haunting
Home to the scariest door in film history
Hellraiser
Kinky demons pop up like magic upon the solving of an ancient Rubik's Cube
Hellraiser 2 - Hellbound
See above, but with the nastiness notched up. You can keep that mattress, love
Holocaust 2000
Kirk Douglas shows his arse when told that his son might be responsible for the end of the world (kids, eh?)
Horror Express
Cushing and Lee go head to head with brain-sucking alien fiend and assorted dubbed Spaniards. The horror, the horror.
Horror Hospital
Doctor's radical health programme will leave you feeling... nothing at all
Horror Of Frankenstein
Baron and pals start off as kids, at early point film hits the skids, dismembered arm seen flicking v's, the end result - stinking cheese
Horrors Of Burke And Hare
Drunken pair grave-robbing scum, selling corpse earns tidy sum. What goes on behind those doors? Shagging mostly - and whacking whores
Horrors Of The Black Museum
Psycho sends out silver-faced servant to slice, dice and generally act the fool
Hound Of The Baskervilles
Pete n' Dud go Jewish and Welsh (respectively) in hilarious Holmes send-up complete with pissing dog routine
The House In Nightmare Park
Oo, no stoppit. Oaf find out he's heir to a fortune... please yerselves
House Of Mortal Sin
Episode of Father Ted goes horribly wrong
House Of The Long Shadows
Horror luminaries Cushing, Lee, Carradine, Price and Peasgood come together in haunted house shocker with crap ending.
House Of Whipcord
Couple take Neighbourhood Watch one stage too far
The House That Dripped Blood
Charming proposition, beautiful outlook, many previous owners, all met grisly deaths at the hands of assorted psychos...
How To Get Ahead In Advertising
Ad man an annoying twat, Soon will require a second hat
Hysteria
I've forgotten my name! Who am I? Where am I? What's happened to the plot?
I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle
Brummie git purchases blood-fuelled two wheeled vehicle
I Don't Want To Be Born
Strangely coy stripper refuses access to short man - ends up giving birth to Satan
I, Monster
Doctor turns tables on Oil of Olay and produces uglifying potion
Incense For The Damned
Short break in Greece ruined by vampires (as usual)
Inseminoid
Pregnant woman on cannibalistic rampage
Invasion
Dastardly orientals come down from space and muck about with the temperature. Again.
Island Of Terror

Bone eating carpets on the attack

It!

Enormous statue lumbers about a bit. Artillery as effective as "pea-shooter". Oh-oh

Killer's Moon

It's Carry On Clockwork Orange! No, really - it is. If you leave this website only wanting to watch one film, make it this one...

Kiss Of The Vampire

More vampire nonsense from Hammer - but classy stuff, none the less

Konga

Enormous ape takes in the sights. Gets crap blow out of it. The end.

Lair Of The White Worm

Nun rapings, strap-ons, thigh-high boots and bagpipes. Old Bram must be turning in his grave...

The Land That Time Forgot

Enormous bendy rubbery dinosaurs ahoy! This looks like a job for that bloke who you might remember from those films...

The Last Horror Movie

Possibly the scariest film ever made - if watched on a VHS tape posted to you by the maker of the film. Otherwise, a too-clever-by-half conjuring trick. Still, you can all have a good laugh reading about what it did to this poor sod...

The Legend Of Hell House

Group spend night in the "Mount Everest of Haunted Houses". Hope someone remembered the crampons.

The Legend Of The Seven Golden Vampires

Chop socky action ensues when Dracula departs for Eastern climes

Legend Of The Werewolf

Werewolf? There, wolf. Well, a bloke with a white wig on and some Dracula fangs, anyway

Lifeforce

Naked busty vampire stalks streets of London town

Link

Unfinished monkey business up at t'old manor

The Living Dead At The Manchester Morgue

Shady-looking coves run amok in the Lake District, munching on locals and paella in equal measure

London Voodoo

A spot of cellar renovation leads to mum going a bit voodoo-lally

The Lost Continent

Insanely over-ambitious soap opera cum dinosaur flick cum sci fi epic cum boob olympics cum kitchen sink farrago from Hammer

Lust For A Vampire

Rug-munching antics ahoy when nubile vampire ends up at girls' finishing school

Macbeth

Brush up on 'O' Level English and watch some extreme violence at the same time

Madhouse

Old horror star finds out television comeback won't be as easy as thought

Maniac

Dad's revenge on pervert using blowtorch leads to prison break shenanigans

Masque Of The Red Death

"Swinging" party cut short by the arrival of Death (as usual).

The Mind Of Mr Soames

He's a baby, he's a baby... man in babygro goes on rampage

The Monster Club

Get down and groove with BA Robertson and The Pretty Things. Oh, the horror

 
The Mummy

Strong, silent type in patio door-shattering revenge trip

 
The Mummy's Shroud

These Egyptologists do tend to bring it on themselves

Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny And Girly

Psychotic strumpet in too-small school uniform brings home the wrong type of "friend".

The Mutations

Ugly bloke kidnaps buxom students for horticultural hi-jinks

Night, After Night, After Night

Mentalist goes on the rampage in sunny Soho. Many women jiggle their knockers

The Night Caller

Randy alien has designs on our women, the swine

The Nightcomers

Mucky Marlon and saucy Steph get it on - won't someone please think of the children?

The Night Digger

Young nut makes himself at home and starts bumping off the local totty.

 
Night Of The Big Heat

Glowing alien jellies bring freak weather conditions

Night Of The Demon

Cynical prof gets more than his house redecorated when he takes part in Changing Runes

Night Of The Eagle

College prof refuses to believe his wife is a witch

Night Train To Murder

Morecambe & Wise play all the right horror notes - but not necessarily in the right order. I'll give you that, sunshine

O Lucky Man!

Mad scientist scene gets overlong modern fable a place on the site

The Omen

Why Mister Ambassador, by bringing on the end of the world you're really spoiling us...

Paperhouse

Scary moments afoot when young girl's drawings start coming to life

Paranoiac

There's a fortune to be had by the one sane member of the family, but which one is it?

Peeping Tom

Scooter boy and pornographer gives up lucrative TV chef deal and starts killing annoying women

Persecution

Pussies galore when mad old mum and her pet cats make son's life a misery

Phantom Of The Opera

Boring old story livened up by sparkling bit part performances and the always-helps-make-a-film inclusion of a psychotic dwarf.

 
A Place Of One's Own

Young lady plagued by ghost of her predecessor and appalling Northern accent from supposedly talented thesp

 
Plague Of The Zombies

Cornish landowner with interesting answer to labour shortage problem

Prey

Dog-faced alien decides to add lesbians to his menu

Psychomania

Hell's angels come back from the dead to terrorise home counties

Quatermass And The Pit

Long -dead aliens still causing trouble in 60s London

Quatermass 2

Drunk American investigates dodgy goings-on up at t'old synthetic foodstuffs factory

 
Quatermass X-periment

Vegetable on the loose - drunk American gets annoyed

 
Rasputin - The Mad Monk

Ra - ra - Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine. There was a cat who really was gone, I can tell you

Rawhead Rex

Begorrah! There's a demon in the potato field - again.

The Reptile

Big snake stalks Cornish village

Repulsion

French hairdresser ditches the "ooh, la-la"s and goes for the "meep berrr spling ker-ding"s

Revenge Of Frankenstein

Baron avoids chop and sets up surgery in nearby town

The Satanic Rites Of Dracula

Dracula arrives in 70s Britain and takes steps to wipe out everyone

Satan's Slave

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa

Saturn 3

Big bad robot runs amok when fail to get in Farrah Fawcett's knickers. We've all been there...

Scars Of Dracula

Typically ugly 1970s male romantic lead has rogering antics curtailed by meat hook when he Carries On up at Dracula's castle.

Schizo

Pert young ice skater plagued by granite-faced bloke wearing red bobble hat and carrying machete.

Scream And Scream Again

Mad doctor goes bonkers and starts creating superhuman nutters in the crazy late 60s, man.

Screamtime

It's a Briddish movie, you can tell by de way dey tawk

Shaun Of The Dead

Had your Fulci of zombie flicks? Let Shaun and his cricket bat revitalise your taste for undead bufoonery

The Secret Of Seagull Island

Nutcase lures blind girls back to his lair for some reason or other

See No Evil

Mia Farrow finds lack of eyesight a hinderance when threatened by cowboy boot-wearing nutter

The Shout

Game of cricket enlivened by tales of shouting and the occasional bolt of lightning

The Shuttered Room

The old "something in the attic" routine gets a liberal dose of HP (Lovecraft) sauce

Slayground

American thief pursued by spooky American hitman through the mean streets of Southport (yes, you heard correctly)

The Sorcerers

Angry young man made angrier by angry old people

Spectre

Holmes and Watson get a 70s twist in a tale of black magic, demons and turtle necked sweaters

Split Second

Cop-on-the-edge and rookie sidekick take on Satan in amusing Terminator-on-a-shoestring cum Beverly Hills Cop rip-off

Straw Dogs

Spectacled nerd takes on farming types with shotgun and feisty wife

Take An Easy Ride

Tales of woe on the road. Oh, and mini-skirts. Lots of 'em

Tales From The Crypt

Nasty people take shortcut straight to hell - literally

Tales That Witness Madness

Donald Pleasance gives us a tour around his asylum, and Joan Collins gets out-acted by a tree (again)

Talos The Mummy

Londoners flee in terror from pile of used masking tape...

Taste The Blood Of Dracula

Everyone's favourite blood sucking fiend takes revenge on a trio of Edwardian tossers when they refuse to drink his blood.

10, Rillington Place

Maniac slaphead shenanigans as Christie gets jiggy with his home-made anaesthetic

 
Terror

It's a sentient celluloid slashathon (try saying that after 10 pints)

Theatre Of Blood

Brush-up your Shakespeare, and chop-up some critics...

Theatre Of Death

Grand Guignol taken to logical extremes by vampiric nut with a knife

These Are The Damned

Radioactive children kept hidden from swinging 60s Britain

Three Cases Of Murder

At last! It's The Scariest Film Ever Made™

Torture Garden

All aboard... a-one more-a time... catch a duck and win a prize... die horribly... etc

To The Devil... A Daughter

Nun on the run

Tower Of Evil

Sexy antics ahoy in adult version of children's classic puppet serial "The Adventures Of Portland Bill"

Twins Of Evil

They're twins - of course at least one of them's evil!

The Uncanny

Pussies galore - but cat's your lot, I'm afraid.

Unearthly Stranger

Aliens who look good in a twin set and pearls and can cook a mean casserole - bring on the invasion...

Vampire Circus

Just the thing to cheer up a town ravaged by plague - a dwarf, a chimp, a tiger and a psychopathic revenge-obsessed David Essex look-alike half man half vampire half panther.

The Vampire Lovers

Busty wench, not averse to removing clothes, preys on other busty wenches of a similar persuasion. Enough said.

The Vault Of Horror

Come on come on come on, el-e-vate me, higher pleee-ease....

Venom

Bungled kidnapping stopped before it starts by feisty snake

Village Of The Damned

Spooky children run amok after sleepy village gets sleepier

Virgin Witch

Tits and bums a-plenty in not-very-erotic revue

The Weekend Murders

Murder on the golf course. Bloody foreigners.

The Wicker Man

Police officer looking for missing girl meets famous interviewer. That can't be right.

The Wisdom Of Crocodiles

Mutant reptile on the loose in London? If only... Jude Law wanders about a bit. Ooh, terrifying.

The Witches

Less scary than Miss Marple... that's these witches

Witchfinder General

Vincent Price refuses to camp it up in bleak Civil War revenge drama (well you try writing something funny about it)

Written In Blood

Remember the millennium? Shit, wasn't it? Remember how we all wished a character from a horror novel would come to life and start murdering everyone, just to liven it up a bit?

Xtro

80s, we're living in the 80s, when disgusting extra terrestrial rapes and births were ten-a-penny...

 

 

 

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