The Abominable Doctor Phibes
Mad musician rises from dead to exact bloody revenge |
|
Alien
Man in wetsuit roams rusty spaceship, hoiking luckless American actors
out of frame, whilst John Hurt gets the worst case of gutrot ever.
|
|
Aliens
Lots of men in wetsuits roam old power station and attempt to hoik
American actors out of frame, but this time come up against a variety
of guns, bombs, man-birds and fork-lift trucks |
|
The Amazing Mr Blunden
Some kids are in trouble - 100 years ago. Send for the Railway
Children! |
|
An American Werewolf In London
You really scared us, you shit head |
|
~~And Now The Screaming Starts
Eye eye, that's handy |
|
The Asphyx
Idiot manages to bump off practically entire family in his quest for
ultimate life and quality photos |
|
Asylum 1972
Confused doc tries to pick out real nutter from a number of very likely
candidates |
|
The Asylum 2000
The loo-natics... have taken over the Asy-lum... This town, ooh-ohh,
is comin' like a ghost town, ooh-ohh... Yup, even listening to crappy
old 80s songs would be a better use of your time than watching Mower,
Pitt and Askwith embarass themselves |
|
The Awakening
Charlton Heston fails to keep vest on in dreadful, boring, tedious
non-mummy extravaganza |
|
Baffled!
Highly illogical nonsense as a certain pointy-eared ugly mug attempts
to get into English Rose's M&S undies |
|
Barry Mackenzie Holds His Own
Lord of the undead kidnaps Aunt Edna - Barry to the rescue! |
|
The Beast Must Die
Big game hunter takes on furry foe and assorted red herrings |
|
The Beast In The Cellar
Old dears keep brother locked in cellar - unsuccessfully |
|
Bizarre (Secrets Of Sex)
Bandaged misery-guts gives view of relationships through the ages,
mostly involving either big boobs or nasty death (sometimes both) |
|
The Black Torment
Mad twin used in nefarious plan to cheat heir out of fortune |
|
Bloodbath At The House
Of Death
Vincent! Would you kiss your mother with that mouth? |
|
Blood From The Mummy's Tomb
Busty Princess returns from the dead in body of equally busty modern
bird |
|
Blood On Satan's Claw
Twisted furry tale as teens grow hair in all the wrong places |
|
The Bride
Hammer gets an 80s makeover in this pop-video retelling of a certain
classic tale. Sounds interesting? Beware - it has Sting and
David Rappaport in it (and you thought such things were against the
law...) |
|
Brides Of Dracula
Dracula's out for the Count (geddit?) - but others live on in his
place |
|
Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter
Gallumphing hero gallumphs across the British countryside - picking
up tarts, offing vampires and burying toads with equal precision.
|
|
The Cat And The Canary
There's a fortune to be had if brave blonde can surviv the attentions
of her family, an escaped nutter and assorted peril |
|
Cat Girl
Feisty young tart not feline fine |
|
Children Of The Damned
Too-clever-by-half brats get what's coming to them after doing us
all a favour and killing off a load of politicians. |
|
Circus Of Horrors
Busty beauties abound after plastic surgeon sets up sexy circus |
|
City Of The Dead
Welcome to the (horror) hotel Whitewood... you can check out, but
you'll never leave |
|
A Clockwork Orange
Bonkers teen rampage cut short by eye opening psychiatric techniques |
|
The Comeback
Crooner's comeback special ruined by brutal dismembering of annoying
wife and cross-dressing psycho shenanigans. |
|
The Company Of Wolves
Poncy art-house shenanigans mixed with 80s sensibilities and dodgy
old boiler's take on fairy tales equals unintelligible mess |
|
The Corpse
Daddy returns from the dead. Or something. Chris scratches head and
tries to work out what just happened... |
|
Corridors Of Blood
Not-so brilliant surgeon tests dodgy home made anaesthetic on himself.
At home. Alone. |
|
Corruption
Plastic surgeon slices, dices, hacks and mutilates a variety of 60s
dollybirds in his attempt to help the missus keep face in front of
the neighbours |
|
Countess Dracula
Dodgy old boiler comes up with alternative to Botox. Also, is not
related to Dracula. At all. |
|
Cover Girl Killer
Killer dons wig and glasses and sets out to recreate covers of his
favourite jazz mag |
|
Craze
Camp antiques dealer strangles, stabs, burns and jumps-out-of-cupboards-at
women of all varieties (not just dollybirds) |
|
The Creeping Flesh
Baldy scientist inadvertantly awakens huge evil monster by spilling
water on it |
|
Crescendo
Stef Powers loses her composure but finds a composer (she's gaw-geous,
by the way) |
|
Crucible Of Terror
Bonkers artist runs amok with molten metal |
|
Cry Of The Banshee
With all that witch ignition, someone forgot to keep an eye out for
werewolves |
|
Curse Of Frankenstein
It comes to something when you can create life with your bare hands
but can't shoot a shambling monster from less than six feet away... |
|
The Curse Of The Crimson Altar
Green Goddess gives up early morning TV workouts and takes to appearing
in drug fuelled visions |
|
Curse Of The Mummy's Tomb
Be-bandaged Egyptian prince goes on rampage |
|
Curse Of The Werewolf
The unluckiest woman alive gets a Christmas present - a homicidal
wolf-boy son. Cheers |
|
Darklands
Sweary Welsh version of a certain classic film involving a man...
made of wicker |
|
Dead Of Night
Post-war party ruined by morbid dream fanatic with bad hair and tweed
jacket |
|
The Deadly Bees
Cross-eyed bint attacked by not-scary insects |
|
Death Is A Number
Dashed queer story about a chap whose best mucker is cursed by the
number nine |
|
Death Line
Cannibals lurk in the shadows whilst police search for decent cuppa |
|
Demons Of The Mind
The family Zorn - a happy tale of suicide, child abuse, mental instability,
cannibalism, incest, ritual killing, dodgy psychiatric techniques,
village idiocy, and that bloke from Manfred Mann. |
|
The Devil Rides Out
Young buck needs friends' help when he succumbs to the pleasures of
the dark arts |
|
The Devils
Horny priest ends up at the sharp end of radical church reformation.
And naked nuns - wahey! |
|
The Devil's Men
Saucy sacrificial shenanigans with Father Ted lookalike and a depressed-looking
Peter Cushing |
|
Die Monster Die!
Gardener uses glowing meteorite to further his horticultural hi-jinks |
|
Dr Jekyll And Sister Hyde
Lank haired fop achieves every man's dream - his own pair of breasts
to play with whenever he likes |
|
Dr Phibes Rises Again
More nasty surprises for the innocent as bonkers bloke looks for the
secret of eternal life |
|
Don't Look Now
Couple aim to forget daughter's drowning by moving to Venice - a city
full of water |
|
Don't Open Till Christmas
Santa Claus is coming... to town, where he's going to get his nob
chopped off |
|
Dracula
Hammer carefully throw Stoker's book out the window after 10 minutes.
Great. |
|
Dracula AD1972
Unadulterated shite from the house of Hammer |
|
Dracula Has Risen From The Grave
Baldy vicar inadvertantly awakens the lord of the vampires by spilling
blood on him |
|
Dracula - Prince Of Darkness
Fat monk takes on the forces of darkness |
|
Dream Demon
Geordie crooner and greasy Brummie terrorise Sloane with renditions
of "Crocodile Shoes" and tales of working with Mike Leigh |
|
Dust Devil
Demon stalks the desert, chopping off fingers and stuffing clocks
into people willy-nilly |
|
The Earth Dies Screaming
Robot aliens stalk the streets - what's left of mankind retires to
the pub |
|
Endless Night
Whodunnit? The nutty chauffeur, the psychotic German bimbo, the money-grabbing
cad etcetera... |
|
Expose
Fun in the cornfields of Norfolk with Udo, Linda, Fiona and the "Flash
Liquid" bloke |
|
Eye Of The Devil
Moustachioed baron takes to witchcraft to save grape harvest |
|
Fear In The Night
Already nervous young bride fit for nothing after a few hours in haunted
prep school |
|
The Fiend
Strange young man tries to show wanton women the path to righteousness
by moving them closer to God. |
|
Fiend Without A Face
Infected spinal columns go on the rampage in spooky 50s premonition
of 80s CJD epidemic |
|
Flesh And Blood Show
Lots of flesh but no blood in dimly lit whodunnit. |
|
The Flesh And The Fiends
Burke the berk and Hare.. the hairy one decide that already-dead isn't
paying the rent, snatch-wise |
|
Fragment Of Fear
Junkie treads on a few toes as he attempts to unravel the mystery
of Aunt Lucy's death |
|
Frankenstein And The Monster From
Hell
Baron attempts to create lucid being by stitching together assorted
mentalists |
|
Frankenstein Created Woman
Frankenstein doesn't create any women at all, but does succeed in
boring us all shitless, in dull but worthy exercise in how not to
make a horror film. |
|
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed
Nobody wins and everyone dies when Baron Victor carries on his head-swapping
activities |
|
Fright
Busty teen babysits in house targetted by nutter |
|
Frightmare
Daughter of cannibal takes on family tradition |
|
From Beyond The Grave
Shoplifters beware - we kill people in this shop |
|
The Frozen Dead
Nazis on ice! And not the latest comeback from Torvill and Dean, either |
|
The Ghoul 1933
Karloff rises from the dead through the power of bushy eyebrows |
|
The Ghoul 1975
Tango man despatches annoying hooray Henrys |
|
The Godsend
Toddler in fright wig lays waste to mainly ginger family |
|
Goodbye Gemini
Nutty twins take apart swinging London |
|
Gorgo
Rubbery monster with bad case of post natal depression lays waste
to Tower Bridge, Big Ben and a bunch of teddy boys. Luckily, the River
Patrol are on hand to do precisely nothing. |
|
The Gorgon
Snakes alive! Barbara "you would, wouldn't you" Shelley
turns into a ten-pinter, and there's no alcohol to numb the pain |
|
Gothic
Byron, Shelley and co muck about a bit |
|
Grip Of The Strangler
Isn't it always the way? You spend your entire life investigating
a serial killer, only to find out that you're him! Typical... |
|
Hands Of The Ripper
Isn't it always the way? You spend your entire life trying to psychoanalyse
nutters, only to find out you've accidentally invited Jack The Ripper
to stay in your home! Typical... |
|
Hardware
You naughty rubbish! Potential ashtray goes on the rampage. Many people
die messily |
|
Haunted
Confused-looking American gets more puzzled as all is not as it seems
at local nuthouse, but is cheered up slightly by saucy posh totty.
|
|
Haunted House Of Horror
Groovy kids (who frankly deserve it) get messily murdered in humdrum
whodunnit |
|
The Haunting
The scariest film ever made. That's it - no funny comments |
|
Hellraiser
Kinky demons pop up like magic upon the solving of an ancient Rubik's
Cube |
|
Hellraiser 2 - Hellbound
See above, but with the nastiness notched up. You can keep that mattress,
love |
|
Holocaust 2000
Kirk Douglas shows his arse when told that his son might be responsible
for the end of the world (kids, eh?) |
|
Horror Express
Cushing and Lee go head to head with brain-sucking alien fiend and
assorted dubbed Spaniards. The horror, the horror. |
|
Horror Hospital
Doctor's radical health programme will leave you feeling... nothing
at all |
|
Horror Of Frankenstein
Oh, dear. |
|
Horrors Of The Black Museum
Psycho sends out silver-faced servant to slice, dice and generally
act the fool |
|
Hound Of The Baskervilles
Pete n' Dud go Jewish and Welsh (respectively) in hilarious Holmes
send-up complete with pissing dog routine |
|
The House In Nightmare Park
Oo, no stoppit. Oaf find out he's heir to a fortune... please yerselves |
|
House Of Mortal Sin
Episode of Father Ted goes horribly wrong |
|
House Of The Long Shadows
Horror luminaries Cushing, Lee, Carradine, Price and Peasgood come
together in haunted house shocker with crap ending. |
|
House Of Whipcord
Couple take Neighbourhood Watch one stage too far |
|
The House That Dripped Blood
Charming proposition, beautiful outlook, many previous owners, all
met grisly deaths at the hands of assorted psychos... |
|
Hysteria
I've forgotten my name! Who am I? Where am I? What's happened to the
plot? Don't ask me, I've forgotten... |
|
I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle
Brummie git purchases blood-fuelled two wheeled vehicle |
|
I Don't Want To Be Born
Stripper gives birth to devil child |
|
I, Monster
Doctor turns tables on Oil of Olay and produces uglifying potion |
|
Incense For The Damned
Short break in Greece ruined by vampires (as usual) |
|
Inseminoid
Pregnant woman on cannibalistic rampage |
|
Invasion
Dastardly orientals come down from space and muck about with the temperature.
Again. |
|
Island Of Terror
Bone eating carpets on the attack |
|
It!
Enormous statue lumbers about a bit. Artillery as effective as "pea-shooter".
Oh-oh |
|
Killer's Moon
It's Carry On Clockwork Orange! No, really - it is.
If you leave this website only wanting to watch one film, make it
this one... |
|
Kiss Of The Vampire
More vampire nonsense from Hammer - but classy stuff, none the less |
|
Konga
Enormous ape takes in the sights. Gets crap blow out of it. The end. |
|
Lair Of The White Worm
Nun rapings, strap-ons, thigh-high boots and bagpipes. Old Bram must
be turning in his grave... |
|
The Land That Time Forgot
Enormous bendy rubbery dinosaurs ahoy! This looks like a job for that
bloke who you might remember from those films... |
|
The Legend Of Hell House
Group spend night in the "Mount Everest of Haunted Houses".
Hope someone remembered the crampons. |
|
The Legend Of The Seven Golden Vampires
Chop socky action ensues when Dracula departs for Eastern climes |
|
Legend Of The Werewolf
Werewolf? There, wolf. Well, a bloke with a white wig on and some
Dracula fangs, anyway |
|
Lifeforce
Naked busty vampire stalks streets of London town |
|
Link
Unfinished monkey business up at t'old manor |
|
The Living Dead At The Manchester
Morgue
Shady-looking coves run amok in the Lake District, munching on locals
and paella in equal measure |
|
London Voodoo
A spot of cellar renovation leads to mum going a bit voodoo-lally |
|
The Lost Continent
Insanely over-ambitious soap opera cum dinosaur flick cum sci fi epic
cum boob olympics cum kitchen sink farrago from Hammer |
|
Lust For A Vampire
Rug-munching antics ahoy when nubile vampire ends up at girls' finishing
school |
|
Macbeth
Brush up on 'O' Level English and watch some extreme violence at the
same time |
|
Madhouse
Old horror star finds out television comeback won't be as easy as
thought |
|
Maniac
Dad's revenge on pervert using blowtorch leads to prison break shenanigans |
|
Masque Of The Red Death
"Swinging" party cut short by the arrival of Death (as usual). |
|
The Mind Of Mr Soames
Chap wakes up after 30 years and finds himself at the centre of media
scrummage |
|
The Monster Club
Get down and groove with BA Robertson and The Pretty Things. Oh, the
horror |
|
The Mummy
Strong, silent type in patio door-shattering revenge trip |
|
The Mummy's Shroud
These Egyptologists do tend to bring it on themselves |
|
Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny And Girly
Psychotic strumpet in too-small school uniform brings home the wrong
type of "friend". |
|
The Mutations
Ugly bloke kidnaps buxom students for horticultural hi-jinks |
|
Night, After Night, After
Night
Mentalist goes on the rampage in sunny Soho. Many women jiggle their
knockers |
|
The Night Caller
Randy alien has designs on our women, the swine |
|
The Nightcomers
Mucky Marlon and saucy Steph get it on - won't someone please
think of the children? |
|
The Night Digger
Young nut makes himself at home and starts bumping off the local totty.
|
|
Night Of The Big Heat
Glowing alien jellies bring freak weather conditions |
|
Night Of The Demon
Cynical prof gets more than his house redecorated when he takes part
in Changing Runes |
|
Night Of The Eagle
College prof refuses to believe his wife is a witch |
|
Night Train To Murder
Morecambe & Wise play all the right horror notes - but not necessarily
in the right order. I'll give you that, sunshine |
|
O Lucky Man!
Mad scientist scene gets overlong modern fable a place on the site |
|
The Omen
Why Mister Ambassador, by bringing on the end of the world you're
really spoiling us... |
|
Paperhouse
Scary moments afoot when young girl's drawings start coming to life |
|
Paranoiac
There's a fortune to be had by the one sane member of the family,
but which one is it? |
|
Peeping Tom
Scooter boy and pornographer gives up lucrative TV chef deal and starts
killing annoying women |
|
Persecution
Pussies galore when mad old mum and her pet cats make son's life a
misery |
|
Phantom Of The Opera
Boring old story livened up by sparkling bit part performances and
the always-helps-make-a-film inclusion of a psychotic dwarf. |
|
A Place Of One's Own
Young lady plagued by ghost of her predecessor and appalling Northern
accent from supposedly talented thesp |
|
Plague Of The Zombies
Cornish landowner with interesting answer to labour shortage problem
|
|
Prey
Dog-faced alien decides to add lesbians to his menu |
|
Psychomania
Hell's angels come back from the dead to terrorise home counties |
|
Quatermass And The Pit
Long -dead aliens still causing trouble in 60s London |
|
Quatermass 2
Drunk American investigates dodgy goings-on up at t'old synthetic
foodstuffs factory |
|
Quatermass X-periment
Vegetable on the loose - drunk American gets annoyed |
|
Rasputin - The Mad Monk
Ra - ra - Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine. There was a cat
who really was gone, I can tell you |
|
Rawhead Rex
Begorrah! There's a demon in the potato field - again. |
|
The Reptile
Big snake stalks Cornish village |
|
Repulsion
French hairdresser ditches the "ooh, la-la"s and goes for
the "meep berrr spling ker-ding"s |
|
Revenge Of Frankenstein
Baron avoids chop and sets up surgery in nearby town |
|
The Satanic Rites Of Dracula
Dracula arrives in 70s Britain and takes steps to wipe out everyone |
|
Satan's Slave
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul
to Santa |
|
Saturn 3
Big bad robot runs amok when fail to get in Farrah Fawcett's knickers.
We've all been there... |
|
Scars Of Dracula
Typically ugly 1970s male romantic lead has rogering antics curtailed
by meat hook when he Carries On up at Dracula's castle. |
|
Schizo
Pert young ice skater plagued by granite-faced bloke wearing red bobble
hat and carrying machete. |
|
Scream And Scream Again
Mad doctor goes bonkers and starts creating superhuman nutters in
the crazy late 60s, man. |
|
Screamtime
It's a Briddish movie, you can tell by de way dey tawk |
|
Shaun Of The Dead
Had your Fulci of zombie flicks? Let Shaun and his cricket bat revitalise
your taste for undead bufoonery |
|
The Secret Of Seagull Island
Nutcase lures blind girls back to his lair for some reason or other |
|
See No Evil
Mia Farrow finds lack of eyesight a hinderance when threatened by
cowboy boot-wearing nutter |
|
The Shout
Game of cricket enlivened by tales of shouting and the occasional
bolt of lightning |
|
The Shuttered Room
The old "something in the attic" routine gets a liberal
dose of HP (Lovecraft) sauce |
|
Slayground
American thief pursued by spooky American hitman through the mean
streets of Southport (yes, you heard correctly) |
|
The Sorcerers
Angry young man made angrier by angry old people |
|
Spectre
Holmes and Watson get a 70s twist in a tale of black magic, demons
and turtle necked sweaters |
|
Split Second
Cop-on-the-edge and rookie sidekick take on Satan in amusing Terminator-on-a-shoestring
cum Beverly Hills Cop rip-off |
|
Straw Dogs
Spectacled nerd takes on farming types with shotgun and feisty wife |
|
Take An Easy Ride
Tales of woe on the road. Oh, and mini-skirts. Lots of 'em |
|
Tales From The Crypt
Nasty people take shortcut straight to hell - literally |
|
Tales That Witness Madness
Donald Pleasance gives us a tour around his asylum, and Joan Collins
gets out-acted by a tree (again) |
|
Talos The Mummy
Londoners flee in terror from pile of used masking tape... |
|
Taste The Blood Of Dracula
Everyone's favourite blood sucking fiend takes revenge on a trio of
Edwardian tossers when they refuse to drink his blood. |
|
10, Rillington Place
Maniac slaphead shenanigans as Christie gets jiggy with his home-made
anaesthetic |
|
Terror
It's a sentient celluloid slashathon (try saying that after
10 pints) |
|
Theatre Of Blood
Brush-up your Shakespeare, and chop-up some critics... |
|
Theatre Of Death
Grand Guignol taken to logical extremes by vampiric nut with a knife |
|
These Are The Damned
Radioactive children kept hidden from swinging 60s Britain |
|
Three Cases Of Murder
At last! It's The Scariest Film Ever Made™ |
|
Torture Garden
All aboard... a-one more-a time... catch a duck and win a prize...
die horribly... etc |
|
To The Devil... A Daughter
Nun on the run |
|
Tower Of Evil
Sexy antics ahoy in adult version of children's classic puppet serial
"The Adventures Of Portland Bill" |
|
Twins Of Evil
They're twins - of course at least one of them's evil! |
|
The Uncanny
Pussies galore - but cat's your lot, I'm afraid. |
|
Unearthly Stranger
Aliens who look good in a twin set and pearls and can cook a mean
casserole - bring on the invasion... |
|
Vampire Circus
Just the thing to cheer up a town ravaged by plague - a dwarf, a chimp,
a tiger and a psychopathic revenge-obsessed David Essex look-alike
half man half vampire half panther. |
|
The Vampire Lovers
Busty wench, not averse to removing clothes, preys on other busty
wenches of a similar persuasion. Enough said. |
|
The Vault Of Horror
Come on come on come on, el-e-vate me, higher pleee-ease.... |
|
Venom
Bungled kidnapping stopped before it starts by feisty snake |
|
Village Of The Damned
Spooky children run amok after sleepy village gets sleepier |
|
Virgin Witch
Tits and bums a-plenty in not-very-erotic revue |
|
The Weekend Murders
Murder on the golf course. Bloody foreigners. |
|
The Wicker Man
Police officer looking for missing girl meets famous interviewer.
That can't be right. |
|
The Wisdom Of Crocodiles
Mutant reptile on the loose in London? If only... Jude Law wanders
about a bit. Ooh, terrifying. |
|
The Witches
Less scary than Miss Marple... that's these witches |
|
Witchfinder General
Vincent Price refuses to camp it up in bleak Civil War revenge drama
(well you try writing something funny about it) |
|
Xtro
80s, we're living in the 80s, when disgusting extra terrestrial rapes
and births were ten-a-penny... |
|
