The Abominable Doctor Phibes
1970

"Nine killed her… nine shall die… Nine eternities in doom!" So went the refrain in one of the British film industry's most bizarre and off-the-wall creations, The Abominable Doctor Phibes.
Phibes has to rank as one of Vincent Price's greatest creations - and as you can imagine, that's up against some pretty stiff competition!
What does he do? Off the entire medical team "responsible" for her death in a variety of ever more disgusting ways - based very loosely on the plagues of Egypt, that's what.
It's violent, vicious and oh-so-nasty, and stands as a testament to exactly what the British film industry could once get away with.
Even in 1970 TADP must have been seen as a bit "off the wall", and 30 years of late night TV showings have not diminished its power to shock and amuse. As with its sequel, Doctor Phibes Rises Again, Phibes is a totally amoral killing machine, ably assisted by his faithful servant Vulnavia. Does he have any justification for his crimes? No - the only thing his victims are guilty of is trying to save the late Victoria's life after a car crash - which, with the best will in the world, is no reason to find yourself: a. drained of blood; b. eaten by locusts; c. devoured by rats; etc, etc.
Although the plot is simple to say the least - several increasingly daft and elongated death sequences - there's plenty more to catch the eye. Someone somewhere went bonkers with the 1920s source material and came up with the maddest sets you've ever seen. Phibes himself was hideously disfigured in the car crash, and now speaks through a device in his neck, and eats by depositing food somewhere behind his head. His "face" is also a rubber mask, which he removes to reveal a skull-like visage.
He also has a nice line in ridiculous patter, as can be seen by this witty refrain:
"Where can we find two better hemispheres, without sharp north, without declining west? My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears, and true plain hearts do in thee faces rest. Within twenty-four hours, my work will be finished, and then, my precious jewel, I will join you in your setting. We shall be reunited forever in a secluded corner of the great elysian field of the beautiful beyond!"
What he's on about is anyone's guess…
But one eloquently psychopathic Vincent alone does not a classic movie make. After all, Price never gave less than his all in every film he appeared in. What distinguishes the Phibes films is the sparkling quality of the writing for everyone else, from the lowliest extra to the brilliantly characterised bumbling trio of police.
For example:
Waverley: "Anyway, medical men die every day."
Inspector Trout: "I'm aware of that sir."
Waverley: "Good. They're composed of the same flesh and blood as you and I."
Inspector Trout: "I'm aware of that too sir. I happen to have seen rather a lot of their flesh and blood in the past few days."
And rather brilliantly, again from Waverley: "A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me, gentlemen."
Because of all these ingredients, Phibes is rightly ranked by pretty much everyone as one of the greatest moments of British horror - and on watching this, it's not hard to see why. As his nemesis, Doctor Vesalius explains: "Human error won't stop him. He's had years to hide, to plot this damnable thing. He's compelling himself to follow exactly the classic death pattern of the G'tach. It's the psychic force that holds the man together, this maniacal precision. If we could just throw it off, interrupt the cycle, then he might be stopped by his own inflexible standards."
Eh?

Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
Director: Robert Fuest Writer(s): James Whiton & William Goldstein
Cast: Vincent Price - Dr. Anton Phibes, Joseph Cotten - Dr. Vesalius, Virginia North - Vulnavia, Terry-Thomas - Dr. Longstreet, Sean Bury - Lem Vesalius, Susan Travers - Nurse Allen, David Hutcheson - Dr. Hedgepath, Edward Burnham - Dr. Dunwoody, Alex Scott - Dr. Hargreaves, Peter Gilmore - Dr. Kitaj, Maurice Kaufmann - Dr. Whitcombe, Peter Jeffrey - Inspector Trout, Derek Godfrey - Crow, Norman Jones - Sgt. Schenley, John Cater - Waverley

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